In this Friendly Word, FlorenciaFlorencia, a young Augustinian Recollect, shares with us her experience in the Faithful Heart retreat: a journey of love under construction, where courtship is lived as discernment, growth in community and continuous learning to love with a faithful heart.
“Love is never something ready-made, something simply ‘given’ to man and woman; it is always, at the same time, a ‘task’ entrusted to them. Love must be seen as something which, in a certain sense, never ‘is,’ but is always ‘in the process of development,’ and what it becomes depends on the contribution of both persons and on the depth of their commitment.” – St. John Paul II
A retreat to build love
These words resonated in my heart, and also in my relationship.
Perhaps that is why we came to the retreat Faithful Heart, in the year 2023, a retreat for engaged couples promoted by the vocation ministry of the parish of the Augustinian Recollects.
We arrived with the certainty of loving each other with Christ at the center, knowing that our bond was not a simple “attempt”, but a true path of discernment towards marriage.
Learning to love against the current
Today’s world tends to propose fleeting, ephemeral loves, where passion is stronger than purity and ends up dominating all the acts that are performed, leaving relationships empty of meaning and spirit.
Faced with the world’s proposals, young couples who long for a Christ-centered courtship need the accompaniment of those who have also dared to live against the current against the current.
That weekend retreat was a gift: two days dedicated to the couple, to talk about things we had never talked about before and to plan together for the future. But two days are not enough to cover everything a courtship entails.
An accompaniment that continues
Thus was born the proposal to continue with a year of accompaniment by couples belonging to the vocational ministry, to grow in Love -with capital letters-.
We meet every month to share, reflect and pray together on issues that affect every relationship. We share what happens to us and what we feel, we listen to testimonies and we learn new ways of sharing and loving. And that is how we stop feeling alone in this journey.
We are a courtship that learned to love Jesus in community, and we understood that we also needed the community in the way of love.
Thus, this discernment became lighter, knowing that we are one soul and one heart.
Loving, a daily challenge
For if courtship is discernment, how can we not talk about all that love implies?
It is a challenge, because many times the talks become uncomfortable, but these are the ones that allow us to form a healthy, lasting and true relationship.
In each one of them we learned to know each other better, to discover the “yes” and “no” of the other, to look at love as an act of will and surrender, beyond emotion.
“To love is to give oneself.” – St. John Paul II
Love is not improvised
That’s what we learned, step by step: that love is not improvised, it is built. That it is not only about feeling, but also about choosing.
Love is a choice: I choose to love you!
I can’t promise to feel, because sometimes the feeling is there and sometimes it isn’t. That’s why it’s so important to fall in love with each other’s hearts. That is why it is so important to fall in love with the heart of the other. And for that, we must love with a faithful heart, understanding that we cannot do it alone.
To love and be loved
Because love – like faith – grows when it is given. We become more capable of loving to the extent that we “bring” God into our relationship. This means not only loving, but also letting ourselves be loved.
To love faithfully is to learn to be a gift and to receive the gift of the other.
Appreciation and community
I thank the JARwhich not only allowed me to live my faith hand in hand with my community, but also promotes vocational encounters for all types of vocations.
There I learned that love is a path that is built, nurtured and celebrated together..
✍️ Florencia, a young Augustinian Recollect nun who is still learning to love.