Q.- What memories and feelings do you retain of the kidnapping of ten years ago?
A.- Those were difficult days, when the only thing that sustained us was our faith, when we asked God that the rebels kill us with one shot rather than cut us to pieces. After those days I learned to see things in greater perspective. I learned that though you may lose everything externally, including your memories, no one can steal what is within you. For instance, the kidnappers took away my mother’s marriage license, but not her love for me. And most of all, I learned what it means to feel totally helpless in the hands of God, of that God whom I love above all things – though I have failed him a thousand and one times – of a God who freed us from fear and made us live each day in hope.
I have always said that my memory of Sierra Leone is not pain, but rather nostalgia, the nostalgia to return. I have seen with my own eyes atrocities unthinkable in human beings. I was five seconds away from being shot. But if you ask me what I retain from all that, I’d tell you the smiles of the children. Every traveler who comes to this country falls in love with their smiles. And when you peer into their eyes, you see only hope.
Return
Q.- Why have you returned to Sierra Leone?
A.- One of the many promises I made to God during those days was that if I came out the kidnapping alive I would devote at least five years of my life to help the people of Sierra Leone. Of the other promises I better not speak because I would need at least a half dozen monasteries of cloistered nuns to pray for all that I did not fulfill.
You realize that the more you serve, the more you are enriched. At the end, you don’t know if your debt decreases or increases, because the blessings are much more abundant. I even feel younger. And, what is more important, I am still fascinated with my religious life. Never before have I felt this much fascination. When one can still dream, one’s biological age means no great thing, as opposed to one’s psychological age. Mission makes one younger. It’s impossible for one to believe this until he personally experiences it.
Q.- What would you highlight of the three years that you have been in such a poor mission?
A.- One would think that the highlights are the 9 malaria attacks and the four typhoid fevers, but they are not. You can fix them with “artesunate” and “amodiaquin”. For me, what is most important is finding out, as I said earlier, that the more you give the more you receive. But realizing it in person, not through books. Realizing that those who think they are rich are not that rich, and that there are many poor people with hidden treasures in their heart. Well, finally, discovering that what the Gospel says is true. I can assure you in all sincerity that living with the poorest has more of the marvelous than the heroic.
” I can assure you in all sincerity that living with the poorest has more of the marvelous than the heroic.” Illiterate leaders
Q.- What are your evangelization projects?
A.- You have finally asked the 64-dollar question. I have said this countless of times because I feel it: that Gospel means good news, and giving good news is not only teaching to pray (which we also do), but giving education to him who lacks education, and bread to him whose stomach is empty. As soon as you land in Sierra Leone you realize that the basic need of the people is education and health. The children in our mission were dying by the bunch (4 out of every 10, according to statistics), and that caused us untold suffering. We had to do something, and we did it: we sought external cooperation for medical attention and free medicines.
It is difficult to teach someone who does not read or write. Ninety-nine percent of our leaders are illiterate. In my ministerial sorties, I have to explain the gospel of the next 4 weeks with simple and easy-to-recall examples. They are unable to jot down notes, or read, but later they have to transmit to their communities what they have learned. I make them repeat a thousand times what I have explained, but I won’t speculate on what message they are able get across to the people. I suppose that God enlightens them.
Hence, it was obvious that we had to start a scholarship program in order to facilitate access to secondary education, especially for women.
Our catechists are not, as they themselves say, “sacramental people” (able to receive Eucharistic communion), because their relationships with their partners are not the most appropriate. Let me just cite the case of the Christian leader of Kamayeh whose three wives are choir members and who organizes processions that would be the envy in any town in my native Spain. We know where we want to arrive and we wish to follow the advice of the first synod of the diocese of Makeni, but we still have a long way to go. The cultural differences are very great and we have to approach their culture as to hallowed ground, taking off our shoes, so that from there to evangelize and announce the Good News of Jesus of Nazareth.
Small miracles
Q.- What help do you, missionaries, receive from abroad in order to accomplish such an important humanitarian work?
A.- Nothing we have accomplished would have been possible without outside help. One of my biggest personal suprises has been seeing that the blog that I write has unleashed a wave of solidarity from such diverse places in Spain as Extremadura, Valladolid, Madrid, Navarra, Cádiz, Málaga, Murcia, Zaragoza. Many times I thought of stopping writing because our life is too simple to be narrated. I also wanted to avoid that someone, as there are always people like that, would see in the blog the desire to stand out. At present, I write simply as another form of service and as a way of communicating with the many people who are linked to our projects.
Specifically, I could say that from our school Colegio San Agustín in Valladolid, 5 container vans of humanitarian aid have been sent. The heart and soul behind those efforts is Fr. Juan Luis González, whom I have had the joy of welcoming two weeks ago in Kamabai, and who has been witness of the good that can be done when love is translated in works.
Liza, whose friends call her Yamasita, has just arrived in Madrid to study five years at the Universidad CEU San Pablo. We were able to obtain an incredible scholarship, which is a dream come true: that our people could pursue higher studies abroad. Liza is from Kakola, a small village, and the alumni association of Colegio San Agustin of Valladolid paid for two years of her university studies in Sierra Leone. Now she has become a symbol for others who say: if she made it, why not me?
In October, thanks to the generosity of the Regional Government of Extremadura, I will bring with me to Spain a four-year old boy for foot operation. A fire horribly burnt them, but with reconstructive surgery, he will be able to walk again. Another miracle. I say it again: without your help, I would not be able to do anything.
” I have always heard it said that we are an eminently missionary Order. If this were so, there should be an excess of volunteers for the missionary front.” Missionary enthusiasm
Q.- As an Augustinian Recollect, what possibilities and needs would you underscore for the evangelizing mission? How do you live the common life?
A.- I have always heard it said that we are an eminently missionary Order. If this were so, there should be an excess of volunteers for the missionary front. Something’s not quite right when we prefer security and comfort to risk and adventure. I speak of the life of adventure from the faith perspective. We need people who are enthusiastic of mission. People who will commit themselves for a certain period and not for just 7 or 8 months. We cannot make future plans if the community members are constantly changing. I can understand changes dictated by health reasons, but not those of lack of courage to accept the limitations of the missionary life.
I don’t want to criticize anybody. I simply express what I feel and what I see. Here, like in no other place, we can say that the harvest is abundant and the workers are few, and no longer young.
What does living in community mean? Praying together? Drinking coffee together? Watching TV together? Let me say this frankly: Never before have had the quality of community life that I have with my confrere, but never before as now have I hungered for being with him. We do the impossible so as to feed the body (with rice) and the spirit (with prayer) in togetherness. And we miss it when it is not possible. Only since recently has it been possible to fulfill our Constitutions to the letter on the matter of three religious living together: Manuel, Jamer and myself. But both Manuel and I have always felt joined to the Order and proud of our belonging to her, even if we were only two.
The bishop
Q.- How is your relationship with the bishop of the diocese of Makeni?
A.- I admit that I have a soft spot for Monsignor George Biguzzi since the time I was kidnapped. He acted like a true shepherd in search of his sheep, and he won my admiration for ever. Furthermore, I find it difficult to imagine the diocese without him. As to the rest, I believe that the feeling is mutual and sincere since we administer two important communities for him: Kamalu and Kamabai, and till now we have not given him any headache.
Lay volunteers
Q.- Could you explain the collaboration of volunteers in these last years?
A.- Collaboration has been such that we have been forced to make reservations one year in advance. Marcos Portillo has been cooperating with us making a serious study of our schools. Three dentists, Chelo, Maite and Carmen were with us for three weeks. Fruit of their visit was the donation of an artesian well by the College of Dentistry of Malaga. Irene Moya, agricultural engineer, is presently putting up a greenhouse. Carlos and Aurora made analysis of the waters and played with the pikin (children). And so on and so forth.
The visit of the town mayor of Viana, Navarra, to inaugurate the school donated by his town was interesting. He was accompanied by my niece, Laura, a journalist. He is now back in the riberine region of Navarra trying to acquire tractors for Sierra Leone
Q.- How can one collaborate with the mission of Kamabai and Kamalu?
A.- Financially, by supporting our projects, and spiritually, by supporting us with your prayers and affection. And, although this may sound incredible, at present we need the second more than the first.
We are not better nor more heroic than anybody; we simply live our Augustinian Recollect vocation where the Church has asked us to. And we live it with renewed enthusiasm every day. But we also get tired and frustrated in the face of so much pain and misery. A simple e-mail, an encouraging word, makes us feel less lonely and strengthens our feeling of belonging to the Order.
Q.- Any words for the Augustinian Recollects and all those who access the Order’s website?
A.- I am ashamed to give advice, because I needed it and continue needing it myself. I say simply, that here, in this little corner of the world, it is an honor to have one heart and one soul directed toward God. And that we accomplish our works with enthusiasm thanks to the help from all of you. And that if someone feels oneself specially inspired to offer oneself as volunteer, it would be an honor to count on his/her help.
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