A friendly word

The Art of Accompanying in Religious Life

We conclude an intense week of work, reflections, sharing of experiences and charismatic living of our being and doing as Augustinian Recollects. A meeting full of emotions and also of experiences that allowed you to confront the reality of initial formation in the Church and the Order today; This is an arduous task, and on many occasions not well appreciated, because it implies not only putting into practice the knowledge acquired at the university or in the different schools you have all attended, but above all, it implies life, sharing day by day from the personal reality of each one, with that of the young people that the Lord, through the vocation promoters, is taking to our houses of formation, all as diverse “as the stars in the sky or the sand of the sea”.

The objective and motto of this meeting was: “Accompanying the way back to the heart” and, therefore, all the reflections revolved around the theme of accompaniment: accompanied companions, formation for discernment, pilgrims who sing and walk, the report as a tool for accompaniment and let us walk together. Each day they reflected on one of these themes and weaved together a watchtower that will allow them not to fish for vocations adrift, like those who face the horizon of life throwing emotional sparks of effusiveness to the wind, but like those who are able to discern the call calmly and choose what is best for life and offer with wisdom the gifts that God is placing in their lives and in those of those in formation.

Accompaniment is much more than guiding or “arranging” someone’s life; it is, in the words of St. Augustine, to become a companion on the journey of another from the closeness and interiority of the heart; to walk not in any way, but at the side of the one being accompanied. St. Augustine’s image is that of the disciples of Emmaus. It is not in front, opening the way and showing the path, nor is it behind, pushing the other to walk at the same pace as me; it is beside, shoulder to shoulder, heart to heart, as Jesus did with the two discouraged disciples who were returning home after a day of emotions and discomfort.

Just like the experience of these two characters, the formator, the companion, must also ignite the heart of the young person being accompanied in love, discernment, self-knowledge, the joy of the call, in the gratitude of feeling called, in the desire to search, not only intellectually, but above all in faith, for the God who called him out of love. When you walk side by side with others, you get to know their lives, their dreams, their ideals, their desires, their wishes; but also their fatigue, their weaknesses, their fears, their frustrations and insecurities.

When we walk next to another person we generate a climate of trust and intimacy, we become almost the hands and feet of that other person, we give up something of ourselves to give it to the other, but we also feel the need to make an effort and prepare ourselves to be able to walk at the same pace. We open our hearts to him, we share our lives with him, we cease to be a solitary and selfish “I” and become a generous and generous “we”. Walking this way, life becomes short, bearable; falls and fatigue are overcome because they find a support, fears and insecurities become opportunities. It is there that we understand the words of Psalm 22 that say: “For thou goest with me, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me”.

St. Augustine says that only those who have traveled the road first and well accompany well on the way, because they know it, know where to go, do not risk those they take with them, but offer them security. That is the task of the trainer, hence the responsibility they have. All of you, brothers, have already made the journey, seven, eight and even more years of formation, with the elements that your formators offered you at the time; but it is your responsibility to continue forming yourselves in the “knowledge of that journey”, discovering new ways to lead the young people that the Lord places in your lives. Just as a good companion leads to the goal and makes the companion’s path bearable, a bad companion leads to the abyss and makes the path of the one who goes by his side tortuous and thorny.

It is not a matter of making our trainees photocopies (almost always poorly made) of ourselves, because we think that in this way we ensure that they will behave and live well, responding to the call as we did. How wrong we are! It is about forming free, restless, truth-seeking, proactive, dreamers who are capable of seeing religious life as a life project that allows them to grow as persons, from the knowledge of their reality, but with the desire to improve themselves every day, contributing to the community their humanity, marked by lights and shadows that after all, in a work of art, is what gives value to a painting.

Let us not forget, brothers, that we all need to be accompanied at any moment of our lives, no matter how old we are or the work we are doing, because we do not go alone. If we are Augustinian Recollects, we make the journey in the company of the brothers or we do not make it at all, because then we put our desires, purposes and ideals before those of the community. But we must also be companions of our brothers, those whom the Lord and religious obedience have placed at our side, companions in the lives of those brothers who also live the religious ideal, sometimes with joy, sometimes with fatigue, sometimes with illusion, sometimes with anxiety. We are their companions and companions on the way, first of all, as well as those of our trainees.

I ask you with affection and utmost respect to form our young people in community life because it is the core of our charism. Teach them without fear that the small details build community, the scorns, on the contrary, end it. Joy, simplicity, human warmth, always respecting our brothers and sisters. Routine and custom mutilate the newness of the Spirit that makes all things new; they sterilize fraternity and dry up our community; they set a standard that suppresses good details, gestures, words, cordiality and even gentleness with our brothers. There is nothing that does more harm to community life than routine and habit. Let’s not pass up opportunities to go out once in a while to eat together, watch a movie, have a drink. If we have time for our friends, how can we not have time for our brothers and sisters? Also in formation houses it is important to remember those three words of Pope Francis, which he presented as fundamental in a family: permission, forgiveness and gratitude. The crystal generation coming to our seminars needs to learn or remember these things.

I conclude this reflection by recalling the invitation of Father Provincial at the opening Mass to “enjoy” this meeting. I invite you today to enjoy this task of being formators. Do it with joy, with love, with gentleness, with fear, because the life of every young person that the Lord places in your hands is like that sacred ground, from which Yahweh asked Moses to remove his sandals. Be true companions on the road, not mere guides who show paths. The Church and the Order have placed in their hands the most difficult task of religious life. We all remember our trainers fondly for what they taught us, and even for the punishments they imposed on us. Leave in the hearts of those in formation traces of life, fraternity, community; traces that remind them every day that the call of the Lord is the greatest act of love and generosity in their lives.

Finally, let me recall the invitation that Pope Francis frequently makes to us: the priest who does not pray is a functionary, and God called us to be consecrated and pastors, and not simply functionaries. If we don’t dedicate time in our day to prayer, activism overwhelms us and we end up feeling bad, tired, exhausted, worn out. The encounter with the One who called us is the only thing that assures our well-being and our perseverance in this holy purpose.

May Our Mother of Consolation, Our Lady of Candelaria, illuminate the path of their consecrated life and teach them to be like her, walkers of faith, open to the docility of the Spirit to always do the will of the Father.

Fr. Juan Pablo Martínez, OAR

X