A friendly word

Cordiality in a world in discord

We are not discovering anything new if we say that we live in a world in continuous conflict. The same human being experiences this situation every day, both in the first person and in the relationship with others. When making decisions or dialoguing with others, moments of contradiction and discord necessarily arise which, depending on how we face them, will have different consequences. However, conflict is something derivative, it is not the very essence of the person. Therefore, we have the possibility and the responsibility to be promoters of cordiality in order to strengthen the original order.

In the biblical accounts of Genesis we are presented with two significant moments in which cordiality is broken. The first rupture is between man and God, his Creator. “God knows very well that when you eat of that tree, your eyes will be opened and you will be like gods, knowing good and evil” (Gen 3:5). This desire to ‘be like gods’ distorts the very essence of man and breaks the harmony of origin. The second rupture is narrated in the episode of Cain and Abel: “If you do good, you can keep your head upright; if you do evil, sin lurks at the door and lies in wait for you, but you must master it”. Cain did not act well, felt jealousy and killed his brother, resulting in the rupture with ‘the other’, and was himself disheartened: “Cain said to the Lord, ‘My punishment is too great for me to bear'”. (Gen 4,13)

These two ruptures narrated in Genesis help us understand the origin of discord, what theology calls ‘original sin’. “As a consequence of original sin, human nature was weakened in its strength, subjected to ignorance, suffering and the dominion of death, and inclined to sin” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 418). And this rupture, this discord, has manifestations on three levels: rupture with ourselves, with others and with God. Therefore, we are called to recover this cordiality and promote it in the world.

The word cordial comes from the Latin ‘cor’, ‘cordis’, which means ‘heart’, ‘effort’, ‘courage’, and is applied to everything that has the virtue of strengthening the heart. An inspiring source to help us put cordiality into practice is St. Augustine. Let us remember the beginning of the Rule of Life that he left as an inheritance to the Church: “The first thing for which you have come together in community is that you may dwell together in the house, and that you may be of one mind and heart, directed toward God”. (Rule 1.2) Augustinian pedagogy, in the final analysis, is reduced to an education in, of and for love; in achieving that the “order of love” may come to prevail and reign in individuals and societies.

The Augustinian proposal takes into account elements of Greek, Roman and Christian culture. The Greeks had as their ideal the ‘Áner aretós’ (the good and beautiful man), who will excel by ‘areté’ (virtue). Roman culture envisions the ideal of man as ‘cives gravis’ (the worthy and considerate citizen), who will stand out for ‘gravitas’ (dignity). And the Christian culture will take as its ideal the ‘Miles christianus’ (the Christian gentleman), who will stand out for the ‘caritas’ (love).

For St. Augustine, the way to reach this cordiality must pass through friendship and interiority. An open, sincere, charitable, dialoguing friendship, a privileged form of encounter and communication between persons, and considering the friend as an ‘alter ego’ (another self) for whom we want the good. And, secondly, the cultivation of interiority, from which I come to the knowledge of myself, because only the right love of oneself (self-esteem), enables and conditions the right love of others (friendship).

Rebuilding the order of love, fostering a culture of cordiality will imply recovering the classical concept of paideia, which is not only instruction, but also implies forging aptitudes that take into account all the dimensions of the person: an integral education. This is a challenge we face at the personal and social level, which should have a special impact on the family, educational and evangelizing spheres.

Antonio Carrón de la Torre, OAR

X